u knew how i felt.. then y muz u act so... soo.. sooo... 'close' in front of me? if you're trying to be LA no.2, then i'll say u haf succeed... esp in making me sad... next time, if you're gonna be like this, DUN ASK ME OUT WITH YOU!!!! really piss me off.. it makes me sad, then pissed! argh!

8.53pm:
i'm finally home!!!
past few days haf been chionging OB like mad at Adi's place... din sleep like mad.. all of us are like dying liaoz... yesterday juz totally work over at adi's place la... the report haf been submitted 2day.. feeling of shiokness! haha!!!

i received a call from HSBC 2day.. well, they saw my resume on jobs central or dunno wat then they want me 2 work full-time! wow! everywhere else ppl are losing job but i'm being offered a job.. WOW! but i din accept la.. cos i still need 2 study, cannot work full time :(


i'm tired.. sleep time! past 5 days sleep like only... total of 5 hours? average out to 1 hour per day -_- haha!!!!

in a few hours time, OB de group assignment will be over!!! tues do OB.. where and till wat time i 4got liao... wed, do OB at adi's house, went home at 4.30am... thurs, do OB AGAIN at adi's house, din go home at all -_- now, its 1.30pm.. every1 is so dead and tired.. think every1 is going 2 sleep like mad for 2night, and sleep sleep sleep for tmr... haha!!! damm tired.. i'll juz K.O. 2night lor.. haha!!! i seriously feel like puking... i wanna go home now!! bath, wash up, rest etc etc.. haiz.. TIRED ARH!!!

last night something happened, then caused me 2 be upset, hannah was damm pissed... i took it in my stride and swallowed eveything.. hannah was angry on my behalf... i'm glad 2 haf her as my fren, oways standing up for me de ^_^ i'm touched...

i noe every1 bad mood.. bear with it! it'll be over soon!!! :)

now its almost 1am.. i'm still at adi's house doing OB.. OMG! die la!! haha!!! busy busy busy :(

i'm tired.. OB is seriously a killer-sleep project la... thou its only 1 project, every1 seems not sleeping and doing OB like no tomorrow sia... dunno wat's the point oso la... results of the 1st individual assignment is out.. i dare not check :(

2 of my cousins went 2 take their swimming test yester-evening... well, both of them did am EXTREMELY GREAT JOB! judos 2 them man! both of them swam fast and nice and accurate... thou my younger cousin sis need 2 haf reminder from her coach tat she has 2 glide in the water, not use force 2 push 4ward... i was there by the pool side all the way.. somehow, i feel more nervous than the 2 of them i guess. its juz different 2 stand in front of the pool 2 see them take the test.. yrs ago, i was the 1 in the pool taking the test... seeing them now? its juz a different feel.. haha!!!! but i was at the pool side 2 give them encouragement all the way as well... its a nice feeling 2 see so many kids swim at the same time, their coach by the side of the pool calming parents down, calming kids down, pushing the kids 2 swim better... 2 wat i noe, the kids coach is a nice coach... i see them train every sunday... even after the swim, he'll go ard toking 2 parents and kids... praising them.. well, i had a great night last night ^_^


mr nice is a mr nice la... i was kind of happy 2 see mr nice again.... dunno but i think he's really a mr nice... i wanted 2 be there cos 1 of the reason was 2 see him... we never tok much, thou we oso tok much.. ok, wat am-i-toking-about!!!!??? but we did haf interaction... can't say much 4 now ^_^

2day, i left with a smile.. and i din even look back... somehow, for once, i wasn't sad 2 go... and i din even think abt anything there after... i was quite surprise tat i could still smile after.. after... after wat some1 said... after wat some1 did...


i guess this is call growing up...



i was able to let go...

as the night draws on... the thoughts are coming back.. more and more than ever.... more fierce than ever... i feel... alone... i'm sad, i'm scared... depression might juz become my pal AGAIN...

2day went back to TP with meili... had lunch with paul. he look so much better now liao la.. cos he 2day dress up bahz... apperantly the ppl at SAA are all dressing up, cos some1 said so.. haha!! hmm, we went 2 library after lunch. meili did her stuffs while i catch up on my sleep... as we were about 2 leave school, or rather, when we were at the bus stop liao, terrence finally called and told us he is free! haha!! so we went back 2 meet him lor.. had a really good tok with him la... so much fun.. can really feel tat he missed us, and tat he's really happy 2 see us, and he really treat us like his frens, his daughter.. speaking of which, terrence is gonna be a daddy in 2 months time! haha!! congrats man! then he walked us all the way 2 the bus stop and we all parted there... me and meili were happy and touched tat we've known such good ppl in our life...

after tat met up with shu jie 2 walk ard CS a bit bit, then took 15 2 go meet shan... shu jie and me juz reach 2 early la -_- then we took 55 2 ECP there 2 celebrate aeng's de birthday.. since we were 2 early, the 3 of us decided to loop in bus 55 so tat we wun haf 2 cross the overhead bridge. plain lazy la.. haha!! then the bus stop at this place behind VS for a 5 mins break! haha!!! damm funny la.. the uncle is a damm funny guy and ask us whether he can take a break, and if we wanan stay in the bus or get down.. we decided 2 stay in the bus and cam-whore.. haha!! it was fun la.. then when they uncle came back, he said: ok! get ready! off we go! haha!!! damm funny la! then... for once, every1 was on time for our meeting. haha!! went 2 eat korean de BBQ @ ECP. NICE LA! but a bit the side dishes were kind of spicy. haha!! but really eat till full. aeng treated us... then after tta went coffee bean drink coffee. i wanted 2 drink cos i noe i'm gonna stay up late 2night 2 do my BC. so much more 2 be done :(
but it had been a really very fun night ^_^ i'm really a happy girl now! ^_^

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AENG!!!

i'm so happy!! cos me and nee nee cleared all our mis-understandings liao!!! 2day went out with nee, shan and shu jie 2 buy aeng's de prezzie... its nice! haha!! cannot say wat izzit yet la.. (aeng, if you're reading this, pretend u never see anythign at all :P) ya.. then went home with nee nee.. had a talk with her in the cab bout our past life in poly.. cleared all out mis-understandings... i'm damm happy cos the both of us feel so so so at ease now.. we even had a lot of laugh in the cab la.. like how 2 go torture some1 :P haha!!! but seriously, i'm really very happy!!! i love my all of u!!(wt, alesia, sj, shan, nee, aeng, boon ESP)(inclusive of SIM buddies hannah, cynthis, flora, sylvia, vivian, kai rong, adi, mizi) inclusive of meili, lay yian, xin yu etc etc all the i-guides peeps)(inclusive of so many of u la!!! ^_^) muacks!!!

touched by many
thanks to many

learning, growing, maturing.

ever wonder if a same thing from the past can happen a 2nd time in front of your eyes? the main objects change.. but the story line is excatly the same? its happening 2 me now.. so i'm now like... feeling...

ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch ouch


last time, LA took JL away... now... a same thing is happening again... :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'( :'(

after crying for 1 whole night and 1 whole morning, i haf a very very serious headache now :( pain till my eyes can't open...




i really hate matters of the heart... i juz dun wanna think wat is going on between us.. it hurts 2 even try 2 think of it... sometimes, things are juz.. so... hurting, ouching.... i'm too numb 2 crying now... but i'm NOT numb 2 the hurt yet...

i noe i'm the 'object' that is being made fun of.. in case u dunno, i DO know wat you are toking abt.. and all these is hurting me a lot... there is a limit and line tat should be drawn... and juz 2 let u noe, u haf juz stepped over the line... i'm hurt, and crying...

我, 怕了爱情, 怕了友情, 怕了亲情.
我, 又哭了.
我, 怕自己又将受伤.
谁能救救我...?

Teardrops On My Guitar lyrics

Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be

I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without

Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me

He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be

She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause

He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight'

Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do

He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see


i juz love tat song... but maybe i should change the word 'guitar' to 'pillow' haha!!!

2day, halfway thru my studying session with hannah, flora, sylvia and kr, i cried... something happened.. and the 2 stressed me juz broke down... poor flora din noe wat happened and she juz look at me cry... i'm ok gals and guy.. i'll smile BIG the next time u all see me.. haha!!! ^_^ thanks and sorry!!!

the tears are the the corner of my eyes... there's the lump in my thraot.. i'm trying 2 control every single damm shit, so tat i wun cry... but i think i'm doing quite a suckish job at it... i haf many words 2 say.. so much 2 tell, so much 2 say.. but i think, i'll juz endure the pain.. treat it as a test i'm being put thru...

y am i feeling like this? i'm feeling like shit now... there is something in me tat makes me wanna really cry... but i've been holding it back for days cos i dun noe wat izzit...

to YOU! i really hate u! your attitude juz irritates me to the core! you're really an idiot!!!! ARGH!!! i really wanna slap u if i haf the chance... its time 2 wake up and stop playing ard with me liao!!!! pls read my expression, my attitude, my body language watever and STOP IRRITATING ME!!!! i juz wanan cry at the thought of u man... URGH!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!!

stupid me 4got tat my shoulders we tanned yesterday oso.. then i din apply cream the whole of yesterday!!! then this morning when i woke up, its 2 late liao -_- now i'm shirking in pain eveytime i lie down on my bed -_- cos my shoulders will brush against the pillow then i'll sit up.. i fell asleep sitting up juz now -_- got bed cannot use, sian...

i dreamt of cycling with my SIM frens last night.. 8 of us.. but when i suggested 2 take a grp photo, left only me, kr and hannah... then suddenly! KR TURNED DAMM FIERCE!!! ' wat's the point of taking photo when not every1 here???!!!' he was like SCOLDING me la! it was EXTREMELY fierce.. i can't even imagine him being so fierce in real life man.. and tat hannah? she can still doze off on her bike, standing on 1 leg -_-

I'M FEELING SO HOT!!! cos of sun burn la!
2day went cycling at ECP.. we started cycling at 12pm, ended cycling at 5pm.. there was hardly any rest in between.. as in, its different when i go cycling with my poly fren and uni frens... the breaks we took were short and swift... but it was nice cycling again.. thou half-way i had leg cramps which caused me stuck on my bicycle.. but well, it managed 2 'recover' and i shall not dwell on how i 'recovered'... but we cycled.. all the way till the runway of changi airport there.. and i saw the HUGE planes!!! i'm so damm HAPPY!!! yeah, cos i juz simply LOVE planes... childish ehz? but yea, i juz love them ^_^ had NZ Naturals ice-cream and it juz rocks!!! after tat went 2 eat at fish and co and i'm so broke -_- i'm so tired oso... but well, at least i'm happy ^_^ ah bu noes y... hehe

i am crying now... my dad juz told me him and mummy quarrel... i'm damm worried 4 the both of them.. their bodies are no longer tat strong 2 take an argument liao.. i am very very scared something will happen 2 any 1 of them.. i can't take it if anything happens 2 any of my family members... i'm crying very badly... i really hope my parents can tok it out.. i dun like them 2 argue... pls! god! pls bless them both healthy body, and tat the both of them wun quarrel anymore.. PLEASE!!!!

watched marley and me with sylvia, adi, cynthis, hannah and kairong yesterday... i cried LOADS! cos its juz so damm touching!!! i juz can't take it if when a show its abt animals and human.. somehow, i'll cry more if the show shows a dog dying than a human dying -_- i'm damm tear inducing thru the how 2 kr... cos i was crying plus sniffing a lot a lot... muahahahahaha!!!!


your weird actions leaves me with question marks all over my head.. wat are u trying 2 do?