argh!!! i am gonna 2 be drive crazy by my work... as much as i like 2 work as a child care teacher, i feel tat it is 2 tiring 2 look after 16 under 3 years old kiddos on your own for 11 hours straight bahz... and to think tat boss is planning for me 2 work from 7 till 7... haiz... i am going mad le... but the tot of me using the money 2 get a laptopof my own keeps me going... yeah! haha... there r suppose 2 be another teacher helping me... but the thing is having her helping is no use or even worst than worst than b4, without having her... cos is like she loves 2 daydream and dun really do much, pushing the work 2 me... haiz... then another teacher oso, not willing 2 clean the kids. i mean, u being a child care teacher muz not be scared of shit, vomits and stuffs de mahz... y be a child care teacher if u r scared of stuffs like tat? bth lor... and yesterday was her 1st day of work... and she quit 2day le.. haha... honestly, i am quite happy cos i really dun like her work attitude at all!!! i teach her things she oso dunno, demonstrate 2 her she oso dun follow!!! bth arh!!! cos i noe the kids bez le mah, so as u r new juz do wat i say la!!! bth leh! u think u older than me u noe more mehz? pls lor! u dun even noe the kids name! wat rights do u haf? i remembered all their names within 5 mins lor!!! hu is more experienced i ask u?!!! wah lao!!! bth arh!!! the more i type the more i wanna kill tat stupid old women lor!!! dress like an auntie!!! and she wore the same thing she wore yesterday lor!!! pls la!!! u r reporting for work lehz!!! not anything else hor!!! dressing like tat is worst than going 2 the moarket lor!!! and 2 think tat u din change your clothes?!!! disgusting!!! i really bth arh... 1st time i get so angry cos of my collegues....
hmmm... but after tat ok le la... i am starting 2 cool down now... bez dun get so angry le... haha


am i angry with ........... or am i not angry??? argh...

2day morning waoke up 2 help my ma with the house work and 2 iron clothes b4 going out with wei ting 2 buy shirts (2 prevent my dad from nagging me) hmm... bought 2 chip and dale de t-shirt... 1 purple and 1 pink.. haha... ermz... look a bit childish la.. but i love them!!! so hu cares?! haha... was so damm happy la... bought a micky mouse watch, a letter H necklace and a converse polo t-shirt... hm... mum was quite glad tat i managed 2 get clothes and stuffs with my frens for the 1st time... haha... hmm... came home and saw my cousin brother and his younger sister at my house... turn out tat their younger brother got the hand-foot-mouth disease... alamak!!! i pro child care teacher here... dunno how 2 seek advice from me mehz? in the end i told my mum 2 tell my auntie and uncle the bez way 2 cure the sickness... in the meantime, i will haf 2 take care of their kids... haha... its ok... since i starting my child care work on monday again!!! yeah!!! happiness!!! and i am gonna take the youngest kids again!!! wohoo!!! hopefully i wun get tired out like last time tat i even fell sick... haiz... i muz tell myself not 2 spoil them again bahz... haha... if not i will lose a lot of money de nehz... and i oso wan some time 2 go out with my frens de lorz... haha... I WANNA BUY MORE CLOTHES!!! i need bottoms oso, like skirt and jeans!!!


and 2 the person hu i dun think will read this... WHEN U WANNA PAINT THE BAN BANs PURPLE? I GONNA START WORK SOON LE WOR! AND PLS DUN TELL ME U DUN WANNA PAINT LE... COS I TURN OUT 6 LIAO!!!

THE EXAMS R OVER!!! YEAH!!! hmm... these few days i realise tat i can be hardworking... esp for the BNF paper... i din even touch my comp tat ppl were calling me on my handphone... wohoo!!! i am juz so hyper la... haha... toking on the phone resumed last night le... haha... b4 maths paper... cos i honestly cannot absorb anything le... so tok la... hmm... 1st was u-now-hu la... then was u-noe-hu-2 then was ele and the PTG... then when was on the phone with ele... she shocked me la... honestly... cos she asked me a question tat i haf never ever tot of... and if she never asked me... i dun think i would even think of it... but... i dun think it will be true la... haha... cos i think i noe tat person well enuf 2 say so? hmm... but really haf 2 thanks ele these few days... cos she has been listening 2 me 'fa lao sao' with all my stupid thoughts and troubles... hmm... go ppl request tat they wanna hear abt it... sorry... but i dun think i will be able 2 say it...
after exams... 2day, went 2 bugis with wei ting and shanlyn... walk a bit till 5 pm and sat outside pasta mania there 2 wait for the red head and gang... hmmm waited super long la... haha in the end we walk walk for 5 mins and then they reach... hahas... eat le jiu go home lor... reach home b4 8pm... ma and dad was happy with it... haha... hmmm 2day 4got 2 jio some1 else 2 eat with us... opps... pai seh... cos sitting at pasta mania there received a call mahz...haha... k la... next time we will jio u oso de la... haha... but u oso got eat with us so many times le mahz... haha... opps... kk... i will call u la... will oways haf a next time de... haha...
wah... i feel damm relaxed!!! yeah!!! i can tok on the phone again le!!! yeah!!!

hmm... i am feeling more and more messed up as the days go by... haiz... maybe these things should not even start... i now fear even frenship le... losing a close fren is something i dun wish 2 happen... hopefully things will turn out 2 be ok againz bah... haiz... hmm... i think i am oso thinking too much la... i really hope 2 4get lorz... how i wish tat i can 4get everything in the past... but i see tat it is immpossible... but luckily, i was still able 2 study... no matter how bad things got, i still studied...












hoping tat things will turn out to be back 2 normal... esp after exams?

ppl... i wan 2 find out how u all think of me... so help me do this thingy here kz? thanks!!!
http://kevan.org/johari?name=pingping

2day went 2 study with ele... again... thou we got study more... BUT SHE OSO MAKE FUN OF ME MORE!!! bully a mei mei de... so bad... make me dunno whether 2 laugh or 2 be angry with her... but i noe i wun be angry with her de larz... hmm... was wat she said true? i think i will be thinking on tat till even exams end lor.. in the meantime, i will use ........... blah blah blah.................. as motivation bahz.... haha... 2 keep me awake and 2 study...














hoping 2 be happy...
hoping for things 2 be over...
hoping tat i will not think so much...
hoping tat they noe nothing...
hoping tat nothing will change...
hoping tat my hopes come ture...




am i hoping for................................................................??????????
4 holes?!!! 2 is over le!!! yeah!!!

i am falling back into the 1st hole again... some1 save me!!! and 2 think tat some frens make things worse... haiz...

hmm... 2day went 2 study with ele... tmr, fri and sat oso going 2 study with her le... haha... hmm... i hope bcos of these few days i can change my thinking bahz... ele u muz help me worz... haha... and i developed pic 2 haf memories of i-guides...
AND I SUPER HAPPY NOW!!! cos erm... somthing juz happen on friemdster? haha.... hmm... i better dun cheer up, cos this will mean tat i am still living in the past... shanlyn will noe very well wat i toking abt bahz... haha...

hmm... after a nap in the afternoon i felt so much better... having lost my sleep for 2 nights in a row... haiz... i haf 2 admit tat i was not able 2 fall asleep in the afternoon... linda and shanlyn pei me tok over the phone... till i fely sleepy... haha... and once i slpe, i slept for 2 hours plus lor... super tired la... hmmm... when i woke up, while eating dinner, i was still moody... then after tat help my ma wash the toilet, nath... THEN I FELT HIGH!!! oso dunno y... mood turn very good le... haha...
morning met alesia 2 go school 2gether... and she hit the jacpot by asking me a question which was on my mind for a very long time le... and cos of tat... i went moody again... haiz... honestly, alesia, i cannot make a choice... i told u tat i am often stuck in between le lor... i dunno 2 give in 2 who lorz... haiz...
2day in school... i was quiet... shanlyn oso said... honestly, i oso dunno y it affected me so much lor... it brought up past.... so sad la... linda, how am i suppose 2 enjoy??? honestly, i think i will only be hurt and feel pain lorz... like wat they say.. i have oready fallen into the hole... and i think i fell quite deep... how am i suppose 2 get out? shan say give me ropes, but linda say i will cut it... i say put a ladder down, shan think it will sink into the ground... i think even if any1 will wanna save me, i think i might stay inside bahz... then slowly, i will dig a tunnel into another hole, 2 4get this old 1... juz like wat happened in the past...



but do i honestly wish 2 get out??? and which hole have i honestly fell into? which hole do i wanna be in?

i am feeling so confuse!!!! T_T wth am i thinking la?! hur hur... am i happy or sad??? izzit true or fake? it makes me feel like crying sooooo much... T_T hur hurz!!! i wish tat my brain is dead so tat i dun haf 2 think so much... T_T

T_T 2day was so shy la!!! zah and gang make fun of me... but nvm, i will still wear skirt 2 school de... hehe... and is cos iwear for myself kz! not 4 any1 else hor!!! my ma oso ask me 2 wear de lor... hmm...
2day, i paid attention 2 lectures, after such a long long long long long time le... hmm.. realised tat i can learn quite a lot de neh... haha... hmm... wanted 2 go for dinner after school de... but in the end cancelled... hmmm nvm, will oways haf a next time de... for e.g, after our last paper go out again!!! yeah!!! haha... i need 2 buy t-shirts lo...

feeling so sick and dead... my exams like hopeless le la...

ARGH!!! exams coming soon le... i realise tat ppl r complaining tat i am not updating my blog... ok... so i update la... but oso nothing 2 say la... juz tat I-AM-GOING-TO-STUDY-HARD-FOR-MY-EXAMS... hope i can make it la... hmm these few days me and wei ting oso studying... so far ok la... hmm then oso nothing much la... hmm... i really dunno wat 2 blog la...
GOOD LUCK 2 ALL TAKING THEIR EXAMS!!! MUZ JIA YOU!!!

CNY is over le... so sad... cannot relac anymore... so many projects 2 be handed in...

29/1
1st day of cny... wake up at 10.. go 2 uncle de house pai nian... as usual, our family reach the earliest... took my lunch at around 12 and wait for the rest of the ppl 2 come... this year de ang pow got more and oso more money.. cos all my relatives r getting married lo... afternoon played poker cards... at 1st won quite a lot de... then i went downstairs 2 but movie tix for memores of a geisha... i returned and started 2 lose money le.. its ok la... once a year nia... juz as long as i haf fun can le... hmm... bought movie tix for 6 ppl... cos at tat time when i bought only got 6 ppl confirm de mah... me, wei ting, seng, linda, xin yu and ngan leng.. then after tat stanford wanted 2 join oso... then linda de fren last minute oso join us... hmm... met them at DG mrt at 9 de.. but in the end only got me and seng on time... so we go buy tix for stanford and linda de fren lor... then while queueing 2 buy tix saw stanford and ngan leng... buy tix le we go star bucks 2 dink... i 1 girl follow 3 guys.. i juz walk behind them la.. felt a bit odd honestly thou... haha... drank rumba... and luckily wei ting reach shortly after 2 join us... haha...then for movie, cos stanford and linda de fren de tix is sit alone de mah... but in the end the 8 of us squeeze into 6 sits... haha... cos GV P.S. de arm rest can lift up de... and i haf 2 say this... MY BUTT, LEG AND HANDS HURT!!! butt hurt cos half of my butt was on the chair, half on the drink hole there... hands cos wei ting adn seng were somewat resting on it, leg hurt cos butt unbalanced, so pain la... haha... i was the person in between the guys and the girls ma... i swear... dun ever sit in the middle of wei ting and seng!!! wa lao eh! seng on my right hand side, wei ting on my left... both ppl squeeze me till like dunno wat la... so wei ting and seng juz lie back on my shoulders and arm lor... in the end left my hand de wrist onwards movable nia... and tat linda oso... see the 2 of them squeezing me... push wei ting 2 squeeze me more la... and the 2 ppl sitting next 2 me cannot sit still de lor!!! keep moving de... buay tahan arh... haha... wei ting... u arh.. watch out arh... haha... jkjk... the show honestly is nice lor... but maybe should be M18 ba... cos seng next 2 me was going like... 'wah', 'sui', 'tut tut', 'O.o' etc etc... and then me and wei ting were laughing away... the show oso got some parts where the geisha was like a ghost returing 2 haunt ppl like tat de... scary lor... haha... show was 2 and a half hours long... took cab home with seng, linda and linda de fren.. i got home 1st... ran up the stairs... cos i was a bit scared cos i saw something... got home... kor and dad de face blakc black de... so dare not tok on the phone, din even come online lor... since can do nothing jiu sleep lor...

30/1
2nd day of CNY.. ppl come my house... kids had super a lot of fun... make the house damm nosiy and messy... afternoon i slept a bit and oso tok on the phone a bit... haha... then after tat relatives left, my kor de fren come... play majong la... i listen 2 the majong sound 1 whole day le... in the end headache till i slam my room de door... haha... but actually it was oso good tat i can close my door... cos then i can tok on the phone... haha... tok till 2.30, cannot tahan, then slept lor... cos... next day ppl coming my house again mah...

31/1
3rd day of cny, last day of out holiday... morning...morning call ppl at 10am, then me myself went back 2 sleep, till meili called me and tell me tat she cannot make it and tat stanford was suppose 2 meet her at 10.40... then SUPPOSEDLY ppl suppose 2 come my house at 11am de... then only stanford come... cos he was suppose 2 meet meili at 10.40 at kovan MRT... direct him from the MRT 2 my house... he over stop... but lucky he took 112, so still no need 2 walk very far... haha... so in the end had 2 go out 2 bring him in lor... hmm... cos only got him and me... i abit the dunno wat 2 do, juz ask him 2 sit and sit and sit... then got tok cok la... haha... and then we juz tok cok lor... hmmm then seng called, cos he dunno how 2 come 2 my house... wan me 2 go 2 hougang interchange 2 bring him... so had 2 bring stanford along oso lor... budden at home tat time seng dun wan 2 put down the phone... so the phone was passed between me and stanford lor... haha... then at 1st seng say dun wan us 2 put down the phone, juz guide him from the interchange... i was toking 2 stanford, saying tat if seng miss a stop he haf 2 walk very far, then seng heard it, he immediately say: ok, u put down the phone and come and bring me 2 your house, i dun wan 2 walk so far... haha.. so go hougang interchange 2 bring him lor... met shanlyn at the bus stop... went 2gether 2 bring the 'big king' la.. haha... then at interchange me and stanford were a bit the laughing, cos of wat we said at my house... then cannot say out de, cos it will seem rude... then shanlyn and seng were like question mark la... haha... hmm... went back home... got ppl call... so i say: now got 3 'S'es at my house... make it sounded like... ***... haha... so satnford was asking me wat am i refering 2 lor... haha... bur really mah... all name start with S de reach the earliest de... haha... then after tat wei ting and ngan leng reach with meili... 2 think tat wei ting actually 4get the way 2 my house... haiz... then played blackjack lor... haha all won, then only seng lost... but all the money went 2 the steamboat feast la... which was at stanford de house... haha... hmm... ppl left my house at 4 2 go shopping for food... bought $99.70 worth of foods... which apeart from the $70 won, all those eating still had 2 give me another $3... budden i reach home, i dunno y hor, i still need 2 pay another $10 plus more on my own... but its ok la... once in a year nia... haha... hmm... at stanford de house... the girls juz went into the kitchen after looking at his room... and we cut la, prepare la, cook la etc... and they guys... PLAYING DOTA!!! wah... haha... and the girls, by the end of the day, know the kitchen better than stanford lor... and its his house yet we know his kitchen better than him... cos he say he never step into the kitchen de... at least we got him into the kitchen... he dun even noe wat seaseme oil is lor... he can take the bottle and say: this is seaseme oil arh? omg... his younger sis had 2 teach him lor... in the end they guys did come in la... but a bit the no use oso... haha... cos we girls were almost done le... then yi sheng cok the bacon... but cos the light very dark, so some of the bacon a bit the burnt... i think we created a mess in stanford de house la.. pai seh hor! but still thanks! haha... hmm left his home at 10pm, got home at 11... come online... tok a bit... budden slept at 12 plus... cos a bit the super de tired la...


2day morning wake up at 6.30... went school with alesia... slpet prctically for all ectures, but managed 2 stay awake for tutorials... got home, wash clothes for mum... then slpet from 5 till 6.45, and then 7 till 8 again... haiz... this week is so stressful!!! sianz... and i am sick again... haiz...