hmm i have 2 admit... my bills this month sure hit a high 1 la.. my freshies have been keep contacting me... in school, at home, morning 8am, at night 12 am, lunch time, dinner time, in lecture, in tutorial etc... whoa!!! when i was a freshies, we din really ask much from our OLS... we find our ways round the school on our own, we got the lab coats on our own, we bought brand new books, not knowing tat we could buy 2nd hand de... this year the freshies r so damm lucky la... all they haf 2 do is pay some money and meet us to get their lab coats... worst is tat not all OLs do tat... limited OLs only lor... so many of them juz tok and do nothing sia... bbsf!!! sorry... pardon me... cos i a bit de honestly pissed of la... now, all they have 2 do is 2 sms me and i will reply 2 them liaoz... lucky them sia... and they r collating a list of 2nd hand books tat they wan so tat i can check 4 them if there is any availablity... hopefully can get 4 them lor, then they dun haf 2 spend so much money on brand new books, and then use it for like only 1 month... haiz... these few days i oso spent a lot of time in the staff lounge... cos was mainly waiting for some1 till after school la... not complaining thou :) got quite close with some of the other OLs... as in know so many of them a little better la... cos during week 0 i dun think i even know them la...hmm.. sure gonna miss every1 and everything...

ah... my net is like finally working liaoz.. like finally... but anyways...
these few days kind of went by damm slowly 4 me... and i dunno wat is wrong with me... i was juz moody, feeling so damm down and sad la... its like.. i have been like (T_T) for like 4 days in a row liaoz? am i kind of stupid? i feel as if i am a fool... i feel so damm stupid la... i think i am being made use of without noeing it again... i noe tat i will be hurt, but y did i agree 2 help in the 1st place? haiz.. this is the disadvantage of having a too soft heart le lor... i kept having the same dream.. i wonder wat it means... in those dreams, it will have the 3 of us there 1st... and the dreams always ended with me and tat person... its like.. at night i sleep oso this dream, even during day time when i nap will oso have the same dream lor... i noe... i seem 2 be thinking too much... but honestly, the hurt tat i am going thru now, its the 1st tat i am going thru... when the somewat same thingy happened the last time, i din cry.. i dunno y but this time its juz so damm difficult 4 me la... having cried for 4 days, having tok on the phone with so many ppl so many times... its juz tat everytime i mention tat person, it juz kind of start me off crying... and when i start, its like at least an hour before i will stop lor... i will need loads of help this time round... ppl reading this, your help me greatly appreciated... pls cheer me up kz... i will be sad and stuff... many have said tat i have gone so much quieter... hmm... i think i did notice it a bit bahz... i feel like telling everything 2 tat person i was close 2 last time... but i dunno y i juz dun haf the courage 2 tell him... should i call??? hmm... but still.. haiz... see how the future goes bahz... (T_T)

i am hurt... very very hurt... i dunno wat is wrong... but i juz cried... and i juz cannot stop crying... i was trembling so damm badly... the person most likely will be reading ths... do u noe the hurt tat u haf caused me? do u noe tat by doing so u will make me hate u even more? i might even get away from u lor... i am super hurt... i cried damm badly last night... some of u may noe wat is going on liaoz... budden do those ppl hu have hurted me noes tat? do u all noe tat i felt so ouched? my heart is broken... and i am still sad... i dun expect 2 speak much 2day... and i expect 2 cry more 2day...







i haf 2 admit tat those past few days spent with u were a very happy moment and part of my life... i will never 4get those days.. it will always be in my memories... forever...

hmm... now got eberygy and mood 2 blog... quick quick blog... week 0 is over le... and its juz so sad la... haiz... i think i got quite enjoy myself bahz... and i gotta say tat my efforts were paid off somewat in a way... hehe... i admit i was loud cos i was trained in NCC for 4 years lor... gotta thanks cedar NCC sia.. :P hmm... ya...
its the start of a new school term... i am a year 2!!! so fast year 1 is over le... feel so old sia... to be now called as AA23.. hmm... my FPQA teacher is oso my freshies de care person... haha... so heng sia... but oso suai la... haha!!! nothing much le... dun feel like going into details... lets all those times be a memory bahz... :)

2 tired 2 blog... tmr then update abt week 0.. nitez ppl...

2day is the day... the day we OLs atart our 'work'.... hehe.. ITS WEEK 0 ORIENTATION!!! haha... y am awake so early in the morning? cos i could not finish the mask last night.... blame it on myself la... cos i took a nap from 7.30-9 mahz.. then start work at only 9.30... do till 2.30 still haven finish... cos i oso touched up and there, and oso the pla cards i oso touch up... so took auite a lot of time lor... now wake up juz 2 pack and etc... complete those finishing touch... and i will be off 2 school by 6am... haiz.. i think i am gonna be sick.. cos i feel so giddy and i feel like puking... haha... well... might feel better later when i am in school bahz...

YES! i am finally done with all the pla cards and mask thingy for the week0 orientation... feel so proud.. they look ok la... not bad.. i auite happy... *smiles broadly* hmm... tmr haf 2 do 15 more... since i get the hang of it le, should be able 2 complete everything within 2 hours the max... so tmr after my PBL from 9-5, then i think i will go home 2 rush finish the masks... thenn... wednesday will be the big day le... can't wait!!! haha...


this afternoon saw a 'website' which pissed me off so much la!
to the person in the 'website':
U THINK WAT! U BIG SHOT ARH! PLS LOR! U R NO WHERE BETTER OK! PLS TAKE A LOOK AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR MAN! YOUR STUPID FUCKING ATTITUDE WILL COST U DEARLY! I HAVE MET PEOPLE LIKE U BEFORE, THEY END UP... HORRIBLY! THE ATTITUDE U TREAT PPL WILL BE THE ATTITUDE U RECEIVE FROM PEOPLE... YES. U MAY NOT NOTICE IT NOW, BUT SOONER OR LATER, U WILL REALISE IT... HU CARES IF U DIN ENJOY! PLS APPRECIATE THE EFFORTS LOR! U THINK ITS SUCH A SIMPLE THING? WELL TRY IT YOURSELF!


wat i saw in the website really reminds me of wat happened when i was in cedar... i am so damm pissed off cos really, having been thru the experience is a totally suckish feeling... ppl think themselve as they r so great... but in the end... so many ppl hate then and rebelled... look at wat happened in cedar... how many ppl was on tat idiot's side? none... hu cares if he is older? hu cares if he THINKS he is greater? its the respect tat exists... its the thought... its the experience... u will gain nothing if u think yourself as so great... instead, u will lose everything... simplest thing like frenship, repect, dignity... u will lose them all... ALL...

i am feeling so so hurt... y muz things be like tat? not only am i hurt... i am also disappointed... some peeps kind enough... pls help me kz? cheer me up... 2 have frens is a nice thing... but when they turn the other way round... it will be a sad thing le...

i was feeling down 1st... then u appear 2 make me go all happy... for days at a go... when i was juz happy, u make me go all sad again... honestly, i hate your attidtude... but i juz hold back... cos i juz dun wish 2 hurt any1 else... i think its time u realise tat u r not 2 take all thing 4 granted... i mean.. u wun oways have some1 hu will be there 2 be like... a guardian? i dunno how 2 phrase myself... it has been great 2 haf u as a fren... but, sometimes, i think its time 4 u 2 reflect le... no matter wat, i will still oways see u as a fren...


i sometimes hope tat there is no such things as fate or miracle... i spent such a long time 2 4get stuffs... but whenever i was about 2 succeed 2 4get, tat thing juz wun let me 4get... alesia said tat it is not fate 2 4get it... but, its causing me hurt... and i really don't like the feel... the after process oways hurt... things oways turn out 2 be happy for me when i was down.. after tat, for a long time, it seem as if i haf 2 4get the thing again... and when i ALMOST succeed 2 4get, the thing will return 2 make me happy again.. haiz... but i think, this time round, i should be able 2 be happy 4 a long time? keeping my finger corss... ppl reading this, keep your fingers cross as well yeah? juz help me... so tat hopefully i wun feel the hurt again...

happy happy me... i din eat chocolates de nehz? y am i still feeling so high till i can't sleep?! i have been like tat since like evening time lehz... haiz.. some1 get me 2 sleep please!!!






VAMPIRES OI!
WE SUCK!
VAMPIRES OI!
YOUR BLOOD!
VAMPIRES OI!
SLUURRRRP... BUPB!!!

oh hoo!!! i am back from camp.. haha.. actually was back on sat la... budden net down till 2day then ok de... haha... and i recommend this entry 2 be read by ppl hu r in OLTC or r juz interested in OLTC de thingy.. or else will be very boring de... haha...

day 1:
nothing much la... reported at 12, then things delay here, delay there, a bit the sian la... then after tat went 2 learn the AS dance, which we found out afterwards tat we will only teach 2 the freshies IF ONLY TIME PERMITS... wow! i mean like... i dun think will have time de lor... these kind of so many ppl de thing hor, always cannot go along with time de lor... but at least the dance i feel was better than last time de... but b4 tat was games la... had ice-breakers... my froup was ok la... cos most of us oready noe each other esp. thru i-guides de le... then learn the AS dance... was partnered with su hua... sweat like siao la.. cos honestly, the sports hall quite hot lehz... then after tat danced the TP dance, then As dance again... then collected the OLTC shirt... TOREADOR... aka VAMPIRES!!! haha... then went back 2 AS to discuss banner making and oso camp fire item... was raining so mass tin cooking was cancelled... eneded up having the AFSN ppl cooking... 2 wat i noe, its guys... haha.. had hotdogs, harshbrown, nuggets, mushrrom soups... and oso... DRIED UP MAGGIE MEE... was supposed 2 be soup de la.. budden like.. haiz... very the salty thou... haha!!! but while waiting for the food, the OLs went off 2 trial the CP hunt and CP rescue thingy... dinner was very very late... around 8... then went 2 LT 8 2 watch video of the story between the vampires and lycans de thingy... the video was super good... but the person doing the talk live... was VERY VERY CMI.. haha... opps =x after tat oso had a 'lecture' on how 2 debrief... after tat was bath time... then din wan 2 sleep de... budden all kena force 2 sleep so had 2 stay in dorm lor.. sian diao... and the dorms were tutorial rooms la... gals on 5th floor and guys on 6... and i oso know tat there were actually guys on the 5th floor... at the end, near IT schoold there de... hmm din really sleep much la... was smsing and oso toking 2 shining at the same time... haha...

Day 2:
woke up at 6? or was it 7? cos i remembered we had 2 report 2 the sports hall at 7 or 8 la.. either or... anyway.. MORNING PT SUCKS!!! i mean, hu will have a morning PT 2 be a competition? siao de lor! so many ppl were sick la, dizzy etc lor.. and after those race was breakfast, hu still can eat? the food will all come back out lor... haiz... was crabstick mayo with bread... but me and most of the ppl only eat plain bread la... hm.. after tat was station games... but i was told 2 wash the mass tin which stored the mayo 1st... hmm.. hu ask me 2 take it back.. nvm... was le join the rest... and they were rehearsing cheers... but not long after the games started la.. some was fun. some boring lehz.. haiz... then after tat LC ppl gone, so out group left like only 7 ppl? hmm ate lunch, then went 2 sports hall for TP dance... dance TP dance, AS dance, chicky dance and oso the tp school song... and they oso played some music for us 2 dance la.. haha... then after tat learn the cheer tat was needed 4 the cheering competition for the week 0... then had dinner, whcich was mass tin cooking behind the swimming complex... the food was mcu h better lo.. haha... of cos la.. the mee was so nice la.. cos being cooked by me de mahz.. haha opps.. bhb... haha.. but really la.. food was nicer.. thou i felt some tension in the group.. honestly, i was very unhappy with a few ppl, but i din show it.. i mean there r ppl hu haven eat lehz... and some ppl juz sit there, do nothing but eat.. when asked 2 cook, they dun wan 2 cook? i mean.. haiz.. 4get it la.. its all over le... then after tat went back 2 AS de LT 2 watch the skit again.. this time its a full routine la... and it was so much better.. cos the ACTRESS was no longer a CMI gal laio.. haha... then toreador got 2 bath 1st, and then we had debrief... after tat was sleep time again... budden i was on phone with some other ppl oso la.. haha!!! and we oso spent some time till 3 am doing the banner.. i stayed up cos they wanted 2 keep the thing in my locker.. so ya.. ok not my locker... but a shared locker... after tat slept lor... but b4 tat i was oso on the phone la.. haha!!! with the silver colour evil and hungry pig with a cute curly tail... -_-"' haha...

Day 3
woke up at 7? aiyah... cannot remember la.. haiyoh... then PT this time round was very fun la... was captains ball... cos toreador has most of the ppl go 2 the LC thingy... so very lttle ppl.. and oso toreador a bit the no guys la.. so we got lycan 2 send 2 guys 2 our gourp.. then very funny lor... this guy alex and me.. we like in the same team but we keep blocking each other.. i hold the ball dun wan pass 2 him, he dun wan 2 pass 2 me... until ppl say 'eh! u 2 r in the same team lehz!'and we yell 2 each other tat ' eh! i am in your team lehz!' then ok de... haha... but very fast end le.. thou the loser of the 2 teams had another round, were this time was like.. haiz.. the defender in front of me damm tall la... his hand shot up and i cannot see anything le.. and the guys a bit the dun care if we r gals or not de lor... erm.. ya.. u should get wat i mean la har... hahaha!!! but games ended very quickly...not shuang de!!! i wan more games!!! haha... after tat went back 2 AS for breakfast... was bread with nutella and kaya.. but the nutella we eat finish, left with kaya which was like only kena 1/4 scoop or less? haha... after tat had bonding games... hmm ok la.. but cos since we knew each other le... so very fast end le lor... then was banner making... and then lunch... but the lunch we like take turns 2 eat.. cos we wanted 2 finish the banner mahz... but din finish in the end la.. was like 9/10 completed le thou.. haha... then after tat went 2 learn sign language... i was the private tutor for toreador, cos i din wan 2 go down in front 2 teach mahz.. so ya... and i do till a bit the sian le la... haha... then after tat had 'lecture' for like 4 hours lor! from 3-7.. sian lor.. so many ppl sleeping sia.. i mean, we were told 2 read everything at home oso.. and then there they were briefing us? hmm... then hungry hungry la.. haha... ate dinner.. was a buffet.. then after tat was camfire!!! yeah!!! haha...everything was quite fun la.. still ok la.. i mean.. ya... danced the traditional dance... which was said 2 invite rain.. and 2 think tat b4 tat we were juz singing rain rain go away.. haha... then after tat was debrief.. which was quite a brief 1... cos after tat they want us 2 go for a night haunt... no toking, no running no this no tat... and more or less they were juz trying 2 create the atmosphere la... was grouped with shu yi and bendy... ya... i was only scared at staircase 58... cos i really scared of dark de lor... was really scared... then rech the 4th floor, i cannot take it le.. cried.. i mean.. ok.. i admit.. i was really really scared.. cos i was really really really very very dark... and the celling oso very de low lor.. but anyhow... we went 2 6th floor 2 take the clue... budden we found the ppl in-charged asleep.. so we crept up 2 take and then sneak away again lor... haha!!! then was 14th 2 finish the haunt.. cos we were group 19th 2 start lehz... then after tat tok tok a bit.. then bath le lor... and i found out tat my group de ppl hu went back early finished the banner le.. so ya.. then go bath, and tehn sleep le lor.. and really every1 slept lor.. cos was really very tired le la.. poor us? nah.. haha.. cos we wanted the fun mahz...

Day 4
woke at 8.45.. the latest ever! haha... breakfast of bread and cheese and it was time for the GREAT BATTLE... haha... ok.. final clash la... got damm wet la! cos i dunno y budden a lot of ppl aimed me lor.. i was the 1st 2 get bombed by the lycans.. and the place the aim hor.. a bit the... ya... haha... pain sia.. after tat i bth, took the pail with shining 2 go and fill it up... but while filling, i was poured by 2 pails of water... 2 lor! wa lao.. wettest le lor... stupid salim sia... haha... and oso.. erm.. too many names 2 mention le la... haha.. but the poor teachers and comittee members... haha.. i think they r more wet than me la.. haha.. poor thing... but was very fun la.. haha... and some1 told me he still dry dry.. i bth, wet him 2 the core.. haha... 2 bad... haha... then after tat danced tp mass dance, as dance, chicky dance and oso tp song... then after tat was told 2 go back 2 AS 2 change and pack up etc... on the way back met eng de OLTC ppl... we oi then they oi us.. and a bit the 2 groups cheering again.. haha!!! then after tat.. change shorts only... rush down 2 LT 7.. budden i had 2 leave early at 1pm.. so leave la... haha but i managed 2 take a pic with the rest of the OLTC ppl b4 leaving... but i found out later tat they oso leave 30 mins after me nia.. haha!!!

ya.. tat is all for the camp bahz... haha.. rock on toreadors!!! ok.. vampires!!! ok.. and oso lycans!!! the underworld.. haha...


yesterday went back 2 school again for OL de thingy again... haha.. sat break camp, the miss us, bth so called us back again.. haha!!! as if la... then got things 2 do.. heard changes... and blah blah blah la... hmm then after tat went home at around 4 lor... haha... met the FOC/FOW ppl.. knew many of them.. and can see tat only the GLS enthu enthu de.. participants.. honestly.. a bit dead dead de lor... haha... ok.. nvm tat... haha...
i dunno y but i think i am going crazy.. keep haha-ing la... haiz... some1 stop me!!! haha!!!
can't wait 4 next week, thou so many things 2 memorise and remember and oso 2 know.. haiz.. muz things be so organized when u noe tat most prob u wun be able 2 follow it de??? haha...
oh ya.. i am paried with zah for AA15... hmm okies... think tat i all le bahz... haha...

cya peeps! i noe this ebtry very long.. but pardon me la.. cos of 4 days camp de nehz.. haha...

ah... going off 2 camp le worz... haiz.... honestly, its because i am very tired and sleepy... haha!!!
hmmm.. i am somewat happy, cos there r thing tat happen tat makes 1 go happy la... but... its like, the feel is still different? hmm... i shall continue 2 observe... haha...

dun miss me worz!!!

sunday nite slept at 3am... monday woke up at 7am... all the way till last night de 3 plus am then i slept again.. wow!!! haha
yesterday was somewat my last day of work, cos i could not tell my boss when i can work again... new kids came, and 2 of them stick 2 me like dunno wat... my 1 hand was carrying 1 kids, and the other keeps pulling my the other hand... by the end of the day hor, hand pain sia! and there was another kid smacking my leg, cos i no hand 2 hold him le, then he not happy... hmm, this continued for 3 hours, till 2 of the kids went home... the other gal hu keep pulling my hand de went home only at around 4.30pm... hmm work ended at 5.30... i left immediately at 5.30, to rush down 2 school... was raining damm heavily... no choice, cos late le, so haf 2 take cab lor... took cab, fetch wei ting and shanlyn from the school de bus stop, then told the cab 2 alight us at the coffee shop opposite school... haha... but end up getting somewat lost, so eat mac lor... hmm, then went back 2 school 2 learn the signs language for the song 'go temasek go'... it was actually quite easy lehz, now i am able 2 do the whole song le, with music worz! haha... so proud... thingy ended at 10, took bus home... reach home bath, watch vcd and tok on the phone with monkey (opps =x)... was halfway thru my vcd when hp rang, so pick up lor... i was so engrossed in my vcd tat i yelled when my hp vibrated... haha!!! mind u, it was already 12.45 when my hp ring lor... anyway... tok till 2, put down phone, still no mood 2 sleep... called wei ting and chat till around 3?haha... we were doing out sign language de thingy oso la.. haha!!!

tmr going off 2 camp le... sian nehz... hopefully will turn out 2 be fun bahz... *keeping fingers crossed*