me odd odd 2day... somehow feeling very low... morning then found out tat my CaT de meal planning was with jon... so i had 2 rush out everything of my meal planning again lor... honestly, i was quite angry thou i noe tat cannot blame him... since he really dunno... last night i panicked and cried... this morning if i din make tat phone call i might not haf cried and feel so moody... budden i with advices from fren i actually called... and it was tat call which made me so low la.. no, its not his fault... i dunno y juz felt down lor... maybe its bcos of the other gal... i am really confused and i really dunno wat 2 do liaoz... i dun think i will be in the mood for anything 2day... i will be quiet and juz do wateva others ask me 2 do... my mood is lost 4 everything... i dunno wat is wrong with me.. really... y am i feeling so down? y am i all of a sudden so quiet??? i was so happy juz yesterday... but within 1 night everything changed... or rather, within a few hours within last night everything changed... i am juz so no longer myself 2day... fake smile fake everyhting... i juz can't help it but 2 be so sad and moody... am i juz so stupid or foolish? i noe its no 1 fault... its oso has nothing 2 do with me... but i juz feel so idiotic!!! i juz hate things 4 happening!!! i juz hate the reason y ppl muz be so complicated... i juz hate the way life is... i juz hate it when ppl take me for granted... i hate it when i find out tat ppl r actually making use of me... but i juz hold everything back and tell myself 2 endure, not 2 angry and 2 juz hold bak my tears.. but 2day, i juz cried... but its was only abt my CaT and nothing else... as i am typing this i still feel like crying but i cannot cos i am typing this in school and in the computer lab... and i think tat its juz foolish for me 2 cry right now, without noeing the exact reason for y i wanna cry.. i juz noe tat i really need 2 let everything out...